A few useful tips to help you become an optimist.
Are phrases like “Things are really, really bad” or “I’m such a loser” ones you use a lot? Did people you know mention you need to stop whining? It may sound mean, but if you hear that quite often, there may be something you need to change about yourself. In fact, it may be not as hard as you may think: using the right strategy is the key.
Seven ways to stop being a whiner: smart goals and clever strategies
1. Mark each time you try to complain.
For this, you can use all kinds of methods. For example, if you wear bracelets or rings, put them on a different arm or finger each time you complain about something. At first you may do that a hundred times a day, but as time passes, you’ll find less and less reasons to whine. Another effective method is starting a complaint diary (doesn’t sound so nice, eh?) and write down every complaint you had during a day. You don’t any special writing techniques for this; the main idea is for you to realize how often you complain. But this method does have a nice bonus: this will definitely improve your writing skills, which will help you in custom writings. Anyway, sooner or later (most likely, sooner) you’ll get tired of doing this — and get tired of complaining.
2. Use the positive “On the plus side” method.
Sometimes you can’t stop complaining because circumstances just don’t let you see that silver lining. Life can be like that, but remember that there is always a way out of any difficult situation. Try to look for positive aspects in every unpleasant situation. This is what the “On the plus side” method is about: you still complain, but at the same time find something good in it. For example, “I can’t go to the musical festival I really wanted to go because I have to do lots of research writing assignments. On the plus side, I’ll still be able to go out with friends for a couple of hours”. Or “I’m in for a lot of work on my thesis, but it’ll help me learn to write better”.
3. Change your mindset.
Instead of saying “I have to”, “I must”, use “I need to”, “I want to”, “I’ll do my best to”. This way you’ll turn your constant whining into a strong desire to act. Just compare the following two phrases: “I’ve got to work on these essay topics” and “I’ll do my best to work on them”.
4. Ask questions and give answers.
Don’t get overly focused on your complaints — try to ask questions as soon as they appear. What can you do to change it for better right here and right now? What can you do to stop complaining about this? This may surprise you, but answers are usually quite simple. If you feel awful because of cold and rainy weather, treat yourself to something sweet. If you have a lot of work to do and feel tired, take a small break and have some green tea.
5. Stop looking for someone you can blame.
It’s easy to complain when you can blame others for your own mistakes. You’ll need to remember one simple truth: no matter what happens in your life, you are the only one who’s responsible. Don’t be afraid to take responsibility for your actions and words and your life will become much easier.
6. Make a list of your positive traits and achievements.
Every time you want to complain about being a big loser or an unproductive and lazy person, you can read this list. In fact, it would be even better if you read it and add to it on a daily basis. The main idea is thinking of all the positive things you’ve done and not focusing on your mistakes and failures.
7. Avoid talking to those who complain all the time.
Quite often we like complaining because it’s what others do. If you get together just to whine about tons of things, from bad health, awful weather, or another bad break-up, time to stop that. Say “Yeah, you are right” and change the subject. If that doesn’t help, you need to find people who don’t use you as a book of complaints.
Talk to positively minded people, learn to love life and everything about it and try to develop a habit to see something positive in every circumstance, every day. You’ll notice how your life changes for better.