No one is immune to breakups. Even the perfect couples from cereals commercials break up. But,having gained this experience, you can learn valuable lessons that will help you become better, happier, and wiser.If it was you who made the decision to abandon the love ship, you probably don’t need an extra dose of psychoanalysis. But if it happened that someone broke up with you, we have a few thoughts that can raise your spirits a bit.
1) The person who left you is the same one you loved at the beginning of the relationship
Denial and hatred are normal stages of experiencing any breakup, but they pass. After the pain eases, you need to admit to yourself that your ex is the same person with whom you wanted to be together. And you must have the courage to thank her/him for everything that happened between you and move on. When we’re in love, we look at our loved one through a magic magnifying glass that increases this person’s traits. His or her jokes are twice as funny, natural sarcasm is perceived as proof of an acute mind, and everything connected with this person is somehow magical. When love passes or when our feelings get hurt, we look at the same person and see something completely different: the jokes now seem primitive, sarcasm seems like arrogance, and so on. Here you should understand that the person hasn’t changed, you just no longer look at her/him through a magnifying glass. Such comparison of traits helps a little to recover from the breakup and revise everything that happened before. Maybe it wasn’t as great as it seems now? Maybe your ex wasn’t as awesome as you thought?
2) We remember only good moments; our memory erases the negative ones
We often remember how cool it was to be with someone who is no longer around and how good we felt being together with this person. But here’s an important moment: we also forget how bad our relationships were. We were criticized and asked to change ourselves because we didn’t meet some expectations and requirements. This is how our memory works: we remember the good moments, and the brain squeezes the negative ones out of the head. Sometimes it’s useful to remember that some things weren’t so perfect, and you didn’t always feel comfortable together.
3) Thank you, coach
Everything in life happens for a reason. We meet people who are important to us at this moment. If you broke up, then your ex wasn’t the one you’ve been looking for. But this person came into your life for some reason. Perhaps to point out to the mistakes you couldn’t see for yourself. And what if you try to perceive an ex-partner as a coach in a gym or a teacher? In other words, try to consider your ex as someone who is able to teach you something and make you better in the end. Use negative feedback with the benefit for yourself.
4) Better now, than later
Lonely people are separated from happiness by only one small step: meeting someone new and building new relationships. People who have become hostages to unfortunate relationships have yet to realize the wrongness of their choice, go through a painful breakup and recovery, and only then lay a new foundation for a family life. You can be with someone for a long time and think that you truly love this person, and constant quarrels and insults are the only problems in the relationship. But in fact, you and your partner are just different people. And you can thank your ex for leaving you now, and not in a couple of years. Life is too short to waste precious time on wrong people.
5) There will never be such a person in your life again, but there will be another one
Often we can’t calm down and start thinking that we’ll never meet such a person as our ex again. Such kind, funny, and clever person. In general, all this is an absolute truth. Indeed, there won’t be sweet and happy moments with her/him anymore, but there won’t be bad ones either. And everything is going to be different. Thanks to our friends from Ua Bride for providing this article.